Unrequited

[christopher cole]

I caught your reflection again last night.
Perhaps you have always been there
Buried deep in my thoughts,
Hidden and tucked away
In a room I seldom visit.
Though I often hear the sobs,
your tears, and the echo of my own.

We met when I was ten and tender,
You barely a year my senior.
So more advanced than I.
A woman of the world,
Who captivated
A lonely naïve child.


You drew me out.

Yet, you spurned me.
Took advantage of my simplicity.
Leading me on, only to ridicule me.
I was too blind to realize
I was kept only for the amusement
Of a another you followed into adulthood.
Whose child you bore.

A child you claimed I had fathered
though we had never been intimate.
At the appropriate time, you drew me to you once more.
Hoping I would be blinded.
Hoping I would save you.

This child appeared to me last night.
She was grown and lovely.
So much like our mutual friend
Who had deserted you both.


She implored me to advise her,
As she stood eagerly before me.
Encouraged by my obvious accomplishments.

I explained the art of survival to her,
the elements of success.
How to sell and how to close.
The culture of winning at all cost.
The hardened armor of callouseness.

She hung on to every word,
Taking in every syllable I uttered.

As a tear fell from her face
I realized just how hard I had become.
How tough and cold.... how numb.


Her expression was like the face I once owned.
Though she was never my child,
She somehow inherited my soul.

I gently pulled her to my bosom,and calmed her pounding heart.

I would have forgone all my successes
To have experienced such vulnerability once again...


To love and to feel,
Even at the risk of your ridicule,


once more...


Christopher Cole