A PLACE TO SHARE AND/OR PROMOTE BOOKS - SEE WHAT'S OUT THERE
Compare? Beware!
A NOTE FROM THE PROCRASTIVITY NICHEPERT
Would you believe, my dear readers, that the day after I wrote about my brother's death I received a call from my cousin that my uncle had passed away? You know how they say things come in threes? Well, that was my third, and hopefully last, death in the family for a very long time. My uncle was elderly, and I wasn't that close to him, but it was still sad. Mainly, though my concern was for my mom, who was again out in California. I didn't want her to break her neck to get back east, host my cousin's family at her home, and have to see another family member get buried so soon after my brother. I was able to go up and do it for her, and persuade her to stay where she was. And a blessing was that I got to better know my cousin and her adult kids over the days they stayed with me. This additional disruption to my business, study, and personal responsibilities set me back farther, and I found myself making comparisons with others who were accomplishing more. Ever do that? It can work for you but watch out! More about this below. Also below is a link that one of my brother's friends sent with lovely tributes to my brother, for those of you that wanted to know more about who he was. Thank you for the many expressions of sympathy you sent me - I'm so grateful for you all. Wishing you optimal procrastivity, and a glorious spring (or autumn, if you're in the southern hemisphere),
Kerul
Kerul Kassel, Author of Productive Procrastination - Make It Work For You, Not Against You and the award-winning Stop Procrastinating Now - Five Radical Procrastination Strategies To Set You Free, both available at www.Procrastivity.com
COMPARE? BEWARE!
We've all done it, and we usually end up miserable because of it. Comparing yourself to someone else usually ends up in feeling less intelligent, attractive, strong, fit, wealthy, wise, successful, or sexy than you felt before you began comparing. And that depletes your self-confidence and your can-do attitude, which also decreases productivity and increases procrastination.
Is it ever a good idea to compare yourself with someone else? If you do it in a constructive way, it can be (and no, I don't mean when you come out on top in the comparison). In comparing we usually come from a perspective that we need to be the best, or we don't count (think reality TV shows), or similarly that the way we are or the way we do things is wrong and someone else is right. What if there was room for many right ways, many forms of success, wealthy, beauty, strength, and wisdom? There ARE! We've been brainwashed into believing otherwise, but we can retrain our perspective.
Instead of having that better/worse/right/wrong either/or, observe what it is you admire, learn what it is that that person is doing that you might experiment with or adjust to make into your own version. Rather than ending up jealous (believe me, I have SO been there), you end up respecting and possibly befriending others, and finding new and interesting ways of living, working, conducting yourself.
And you discover how the differences between you and someone else even out. It's almost never happened that I've met someone who seemed very admirable, but when I got to know that person better, understood their problems and challenges, I felt like gathering up my problems and weaknesses and running like hell the other way, feeling blessed to have mine and not theirs.
Who are you comparing yourself to, and how is that helping or hindering you?
A TRIBUTE TO MY BROTHER
A number of you were curious about who my brother was, and how he touched so very many people. Here is a link, put together by colleagues, friends, and people he generously helped in his industry, with photos, tribute quotes, and more: http://tinyurl.com/clbxmg
Inspirational Quotes
"If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself."
-- Max Ehrmann (Desiderata: A Poem for a Way of Life)
"Don't compare yourself when anyone else. If you do, you are insulting yourself." -- Source unknown
Would you believe, my dear readers, that the day after I wrote about my brother's death I received a call from my cousin that my uncle had passed away? You know how they say things come in threes? Well, that was my third, and hopefully last, death in the family for a very long time. My uncle was elderly, and I wasn't that close to him, but it was still sad. Mainly, though my concern was for my mom, who was again out in California. I didn't want her to break her neck to get back east, host my cousin's family at her home, and have to see another family member get buried so soon after my brother. I was able to go up and do it for her, and persuade her to stay where she was. And a blessing was that I got to better know my cousin and her adult kids over the days they stayed with me. This additional disruption to my business, study, and personal responsibilities set me back farther, and I found myself making comparisons with others who were accomplishing more. Ever do that? It can work for you but watch out! More about this below. Also below is a link that one of my brother's friends sent with lovely tributes to my brother, for those of you that wanted to know more about who he was. Thank you for the many expressions of sympathy you sent me - I'm so grateful for you all. Wishing you optimal procrastivity, and a glorious spring (or autumn, if you're in the southern hemisphere),
Kerul
Kerul Kassel, Author of Productive Procrastination - Make It Work For You, Not Against You and the award-winning Stop Procrastinating Now - Five Radical Procrastination Strategies To Set You Free, both available at www.Procrastivity.com
COMPARE? BEWARE!
We've all done it, and we usually end up miserable because of it. Comparing yourself to someone else usually ends up in feeling less intelligent, attractive, strong, fit, wealthy, wise, successful, or sexy than you felt before you began comparing. And that depletes your self-confidence and your can-do attitude, which also decreases productivity and increases procrastination.
Is it ever a good idea to compare yourself with someone else? If you do it in a constructive way, it can be (and no, I don't mean when you come out on top in the comparison). In comparing we usually come from a perspective that we need to be the best, or we don't count (think reality TV shows), or similarly that the way we are or the way we do things is wrong and someone else is right. What if there was room for many right ways, many forms of success, wealthy, beauty, strength, and wisdom? There ARE! We've been brainwashed into believing otherwise, but we can retrain our perspective.
Instead of having that better/worse/right/wrong either/or, observe what it is you admire, learn what it is that that person is doing that you might experiment with or adjust to make into your own version. Rather than ending up jealous (believe me, I have SO been there), you end up respecting and possibly befriending others, and finding new and interesting ways of living, working, conducting yourself.
And you discover how the differences between you and someone else even out. It's almost never happened that I've met someone who seemed very admirable, but when I got to know that person better, understood their problems and challenges, I felt like gathering up my problems and weaknesses and running like hell the other way, feeling blessed to have mine and not theirs.
Who are you comparing yourself to, and how is that helping or hindering you?
A TRIBUTE TO MY BROTHER
A number of you were curious about who my brother was, and how he touched so very many people. Here is a link, put together by colleagues, friends, and people he generously helped in his industry, with photos, tribute quotes, and more: http://tinyurl.com/clbxmg
Inspirational Quotes
"If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself."
-- Max Ehrmann (Desiderata: A Poem for a Way of Life)
"Don't compare yourself when anyone else. If you do, you are insulting yourself." -- Source unknown
Comment
About
Badge
MORGAN'S OWN BLOGSPOT
Are you ready?
Anyway, I hope to get the house into decent shape before Christmas, when I do my annual meal for the family. There's also that Christmas list to get together. Time is ticking away.
What about you? Are you ready for Christmas? Or do you celebrate another Holiday? If so, are you ready?
Please Welcome Mary Cunningham, Cynthia's Attic Author
One of the main reasons for writing "Cynthia's Attic" came from my failure - failure to appreciate my ancestors. Our family stories are probably no more or less interesting than most, and I went out of my way to avoid remembering most of them or asking questions about my grandparents lives.
Or did I try to find out just which relative "supposedly" sold a city block on Wilshire Boulevard in Los Angeles for $20,000? Guaranteed, I would not be sitting here writing a blog had that particular relative held on to the property.
Then there's the story, "Cynthia's Attic: Curse of the Bayou," of my great-great grandfather, Augustus Boilliat who disappeared in 1860 while taking a load of produce down the Mississippi River to New Orleans? Oh, sure I've read different accounts about what happened to him, but lost forever are the stories his grandson (my grandfather) could've told me about facts he'd heard from my great-great grandmother, Marie Julia, about her husband's disappearance.
I remember a few accounts told by my dad about his adventures as a teenage cave guide at one of the largest caves in the Southern Indiana area, Wyandotte, but I only have to guess at some of the adventures he must've had.
The idea for Cynthia's Attic: The Magician's Castle came from detailed genealogy research done by my cousin, Betty. Long before the Internet, she traveled to Switzerland to search for documents that would tie our great-grandmother, Harriet Kistler, to Peter Kistler the First, President of the Republic of Bern, 1470-1480. I've tried to honor the Kistler family in the fourth adventure in Cynthia's Attic.
Thanks, Morgan, for having me as a guest!
Mary Cunningham
She is also co-writer of the humor-filled, women's lifestyle book, "Women Only Over Fifty (WOOF)," along with published stories, "Ghost Light" and "Christmas Daisy," A Cynthia's Attic short story.
To celebrate the release of "The Magician's Castle," (Quake/Echelon Press, DEC 1, 2009), a winner will be chosen on each blog stop to receive a copy of the "Cynthia's Attic" short story, "Christmas With Daisy!" So, be sure to make a comment!
Mary Cunningham Books
http://www.marycunninghambooks.com/
Cynthia's Attic Blog
http://www.cynthiasattic.blogspot.com/
Amazon
http://www.amazon.com/Mary-Cunningham/e/B002BLNEK4/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1
Kindle
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-url?_encoding=UTF8&search-type=ss&index=digital-text&field-author=Mary%20Cunningham
Fictionwise
http://www.fictionwise.com/ebooks/a20811/Mary-Cunningham/?
Quake/Echelon Press
http://www.echelonpress.com/index.php?main_page=index&manufacturers_id=23&zenid=4ac57b7ae19fa071cab3b4295df7baf3
Please leave a comment to welcome Mary.
Check out the Mystery of the Missing Checks
Monday, I'm over at my group blog, http://makeminemystery.blogspot.com/, where I'm blogging about the mystery of the missing checks. Come on over and find out what it's all about.Thanks,
Morgan Mandel
Can We Talk?
I'm firming up some dates for speaking engagements in 2010. One's tentatively set for March 28, at 1:30 at the Niles Public Library, another probably in mid May at the Schaumburg Township District Library.Also, coming up is a radio interview at WJJQ again on May 7, at 9:35 a.m. before my booksigning May 8 at Cover to Cover Books in Tomahawk, WI.
I've heard that some people are more afraid of public speaking than of dying. Surprisingly, I find it easier each time I do it. As long as I have my cheat sheet with me to glance down at once in a while for security and I like what I'm talking about, I'm okay.
What about you? Do you like to talk or would you rather not?
RSS
Rascal is sleeping right now. When she gets up, you'll know about it.
When RASCAL wakes up, you'll hear from her and/or her Mom - that would be me, Morgan Mandel.
Music
© 2009 Created by Morgan Mandel on Ning. Create a Ning Network!
You need to be a member of BOOK PLACE to add comments!
Join this Ning Network